April 21, 2015: My DC got fired from his school crossing guard job for barking at a student

Just got a tearful phone call from my DC letting me know that he got canned. This morning one of the kids at the elementary school where my friend the DC is the crossing guard was wearing a Jalen Hurd University of Tennessee jersey. When the kid was crossing the street, my DC started barking at him, asking him if Hurd would ever break 5 yards per carry, and making fun of the kid's bowl cut. The kid's father saw the whole thing and went to confront my DC. A shouting match ensued and several parents had to physically restrain my DC. Apparently several kids saw the confrontation and were "traumatized" (the school's word, not mine), crying, and eventually excused for the day because they couldn't concentrate. 

This was a "third strike" for him (he was already on thin ice for recruiting on the job and making a kid do up and down in front of everyone for not paying attention), so they had to fire him. We are going to meet up at Beef O Brady's tonight to brainstorm over Miller Lite and shots of Fireball about how to replace the income. He's leaning towards trying to becoming an Amway salesman, but I guess we'll see.