November 24, 2015: I Find Out that My Youth Football Team’s Championship Rings Won’t be Ready for Thanksgiving


Just got off the phone with the company that's making them and unfortunately the special font I ordered for these will take a little while longer than expected, so they won't be ready until next week. That will be more than enough time for our team's awards banquet, but unfortunately not in time for me to show off at my family’s Thanksgiving.

I've mentioned before that my older brother is an accountant in Charlotte and thinks he's better than me because he went to UGA, even though my yearly expenditures on UGA merchandise dwarf his. He was an all-state tennis player (LOL), but is still mad about the fact that he only lettered once in football as a special teams senior. He's also banned my DC and me from attending his UGA tailgates, and he and my DC don't get along at all.  He's constantly accusing me of living in the past and is critical of my Nick Saban approach to youth football, probably because his results coaching his daughters' soccer teams have been thoroughly mediocre.

As bad as he is, my sister's husband is worse. He is an electrical engineer who went to Georgia Tech. He gets flustered and very angry when I inevitably get up in his face and do the What's That Coming Down the Track? chant every Christmas after we've beaten them. I will also bark at my nephews when he puts them in GTurd gear. He drives a Subaru, collects stamps and coins, and, needless to say, didn't letter in a goddamn thing. 

And the saddest part of all is that he’s polluted the family gene pool.  My aforementioned nephews are 6 and 8, frail, and afraid of and allergic to everything. I took them out in the backyard last year after Thanksgiving dinner and had them do some high knee exercises and tackling drills, and it was a joke.  I made them do up and downs and told them to stick to their ipads.