Sept. 14, 2015: The Assistant to the League Director Suspends My DC for 4 Games

For the backstory on this, read my last post about my DC's "trust fall" off the back of his white Chrysler LeBaron convertible.

I just got off the horn with the assistant to the league director. Just so you know, there's a bit of a history there. He still holds a grudge against me for giving him an atomic wedgie in front of the entire school in our high school cafeteria. He went on to get a philosophy degree from South Carolina (big fan of the women's basketball team, so I always make sure to bark at him when we beat them) and works in the photo development department of the local pharmacy. He lives with his aunt, is a huge Bernie Sanders supporter, and I found out a few years back that he spends his free time angrily moderating an online message board for people in the photo development industry. I occasionally go on the board under an alias and brag about using company equipment to delevop my own photos for personal profit just to make him angry, but that's neither here nor there.

He gleefully informed me that the league decided to suspend my DC for 4 games.  He said that my DC's action "showed a complete disregard for player safety."  Apparently the decision was his alone, but we have a right to ask for a hearing before the actual league director, although it could result in a greater suspension.

The hardest part was having to break it to my DC.  Once he stopped crying and composed himself, we agreed that the suspension was worth fighting despite the risk of a worse punishment.  My cousin is a workers' compensation lawyer, so I have a breakfast meeting set up with him at Hardee's tomorrow morning to discuss our options.

Having to break this to the players at tomorrow's practice will be the most difficult thing I've had to do as a head coach. We will prevail against the forces of tyranny, I promise you.