October 8, 2015: The DT with the Rat Tail Dominates and Gets Ejected in His Debut


This was our first game with the DT with the Rat Tail that my DC and I recruited at the Kmart cafe on Tuesday. He lived up to the hype and then some. Before the game, my DC taught him how to use the Deacon Jones “head slap,” and by the end of the second quarter he'd knocked a couple of their offensive linemen out of the game. 

We were up 27-0 at halftime, but the opposing quarterback was giving our defense a bit of a hard time running around. My DC really wanted to put a stop to it, so he went to the DT with the Rat Tail and told him to “sweep the leg” and take care of the quarterback “through any means necessary.” The kid may not be able to spell his own name, but he definitely listens. The first play out of halftime, the DT with the Rat Tail knocked the opposing quarterback to the ground after he'd handed the ball off and started choking him. The officials pulled him off, flagged him for a personal foul, and ejected him from the game, but the quarterback was so rattled he refused to return to the game, so mission accomplished. We went on to win 48-0. My DC was so impressed he named the DT with the Rat Tail defensive captain, gave him the game ball, and invited him to come have a post-game beer with us at Beef's. His father, who is an executive shoe salesman at Payless, joined us.